Here’s something that isn’t a downer and I’m certain it won’t hurt, alienate or anger anyone. Since January, I’ve maintained a clear head, and have focused my time and energy on cleaning up my life. That means no alcohol or anything else (I won’t go into detail. You can imagine for yourself what my bad habits might have been). For the first time in many, many years, my mind is clear and sharp. I am so grateful that I was pushed in this direction, even though it’s been painful and at times humiliating to get through some of the hoops I’ve had to jump through. I’m proud to say I did it, and I am never going back. Along the way, these past 9 plus months, I also decided to let go of some things that were very dear to me, like my radio program. After being on the air every week on KXCI since 2004, I just lost my inspiration one day, and I told myself that once that happened, I wouldn’t do it anymore. So I willingly let it go, and I’m okay with it. And other stuff has happened. My best friend was taken from me. I lost several relatives, especially one very dear aunt. Not being able to attend funerals or to grieve with my friends and loved ones has made the losses even more acute, but having a clear head has helped me get through all of this tragedy.  I’m so happy that I have maintained my discipline and my focus. The losses I have endured have made me stronger, and more determined than ever to make the best of the time I have left on this planet. I’m writing a lot more these days, and I have immersed myself like never before in my work as a librarian and archivist. There is plenty to keep me busy, and I have no problem being at home. I’m grateful that I have a job that allows me that luxury.

I look forward to many things. Above all, I can’t wait to hug my friends and family again, and to have nice long, in person conversations with them. I can’t wait to go out for long walks without worrying about getting too close to strangers. I can’t wait to go shopping at the second hand stores to look for music and books. I can’t wait to see the roses blooming in the rose garden at the park. I can’t wait to go out to eat dinner with my partner. I can’t wait to work out at the park.  I can’t wait to sit and have coffee with someone at work or to have pizza for lunch. I can’t wait for a new president to set us back on course as a nation. Each day I get antsier, but I’ll be patient. My goal is much further beyond survival. I want to live and thrive and continue in my own way to try to make the world a better place in which to live. I always thought my radio show helped me contribute to that goal, and for some people, I’m sure it had that kind of effect, but now I’ll have to find other ways. I know there are many possibilities. I’m very excited about the future and look forward to the day when I no longer have to be fearful of getting too close to anyone. I love life and I love people. Thanks, my friends, for reading this. I love YOU too.